Today seems to be one of those days where the kid has already been taking a nap for half an hour and I still seem to be watching Julius Jr. Now that I am making the switch to Stay-at-Home Mom, this seems to be happening more and more. I am also perpetually covered in blue paint and glitter, since Delilah is in "Blue Period" right now.
I am both amazed with the amount of time in a day that I need to fill for her, and also by how fast the days seem to be going. I try my best to keep us on a regular meal and nap schedule, and bedtime is still firmly at 8:00 pm, it's those hours in the middle of the day that throw me off.
I am doing my best to be up by 7:00 am, and have Delilah up by 8:00 am, and my house is so clean I don't know what else I can do with it. The weekly housekeeper is even coming today and I have no idea what to have her do. People keep telling me to "relax" and "enjoy this time", but how on earth do people do that? Perhaps I just haven't completed the transition from working full time, to trying to finally make writing an actual career, instead of just a passion. It doesn't help that Delilah seems to have entered into a needy phase, and J is still out catching crab from 3:30 am to 8:00 pm everyday. It's hard to have a "normal" life when you never see your husband, and your child can't stop asking 8 million questions a day.
This entire new life has come because J and I decided for me to quit my job, that was contributing greatly to my suicidal thoughts and general unhappiness. I can't even begin to describe how I felt when I made the decision to quit. It's like the noose that has always been around my chest, squeezing the life out of me, finally went away. I felt like I could breath for the first time in years, and after a week and a half I am still happy with my decision. Of course, we may also be destitute and living off crackers and ramen within 6 months, who can tell?
My therapist, Julie, says that the entire look on my face changed as soon as I made the decision in my head. And J says that he is so glad to have "Happy Megan" back in his life. I haven't cried since turning in my letter of resignation, and I haven't had a single suicidal thought, but that didn't keep my family from going on hyper-alert. I finally had to tell them all that it was unnecessary for them to call me every breakfast, lunch and dinner, just to make sure I haven't drown myself in the toilet.
I am both amazed with the amount of time in a day that I need to fill for her, and also by how fast the days seem to be going. I try my best to keep us on a regular meal and nap schedule, and bedtime is still firmly at 8:00 pm, it's those hours in the middle of the day that throw me off.
I am doing my best to be up by 7:00 am, and have Delilah up by 8:00 am, and my house is so clean I don't know what else I can do with it. The weekly housekeeper is even coming today and I have no idea what to have her do. People keep telling me to "relax" and "enjoy this time", but how on earth do people do that? Perhaps I just haven't completed the transition from working full time, to trying to finally make writing an actual career, instead of just a passion. It doesn't help that Delilah seems to have entered into a needy phase, and J is still out catching crab from 3:30 am to 8:00 pm everyday. It's hard to have a "normal" life when you never see your husband, and your child can't stop asking 8 million questions a day.
This entire new life has come because J and I decided for me to quit my job, that was contributing greatly to my suicidal thoughts and general unhappiness. I can't even begin to describe how I felt when I made the decision to quit. It's like the noose that has always been around my chest, squeezing the life out of me, finally went away. I felt like I could breath for the first time in years, and after a week and a half I am still happy with my decision. Of course, we may also be destitute and living off crackers and ramen within 6 months, who can tell?
My therapist, Julie, says that the entire look on my face changed as soon as I made the decision in my head. And J says that he is so glad to have "Happy Megan" back in his life. I haven't cried since turning in my letter of resignation, and I haven't had a single suicidal thought, but that didn't keep my family from going on hyper-alert. I finally had to tell them all that it was unnecessary for them to call me every breakfast, lunch and dinner, just to make sure I haven't drown myself in the toilet.
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