About Us, Photos, Infertility

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

I Need A Hug...

I stopped knitting the "husband socks". I got half way through turning the heal on the first one when it dawned on me, I Hate Knitting Socks. I have always hated knitting socks, mainly because they are on such small little needles and have such tiny yarn, and it makes my thumbs hurt and my eyes ache and I just hate it, so I am going to give up on sock knitting, at least for the time being anyway. 
Instead I went and got some Lambs Pride Bulky and started knitting a cabled version of version of Hug. I have always like hug, but I must admit that I was confused about how to decrease and increase with ribs, so I just didn't. Instead I plopped a double twist cable in the middle and sis all of my increases and decreases in the cable pattern. I now have one whole sleeve done and am halfway through the back. I would post pictures, but I am terrified that this is going to be a waste of some perfectly good Lambs Pride, so I will hold off on bragging until I have something to brag about.  
I also checked out a new knitting store today, the Knittery in Renton. Honestly, the selection is nothing to scream about, but the owner was nice, allowing me to sit, drink my tea and browse through the pattern boos for at least an hour. As I was walking out I saw some Manos Silk Blend in some really awesome colors. I bought 2 red multicolored skeins and 2 vibrant greens. All I could think was what cool Endpaper Mitts they would make. But then I came home and checked the pattern, and it calls for Fingering weight, and the yarn I just spent $50 on was DK. I think I might do a swatch just to see of I can get it to the right gage, but I am not very optimistic at this point. 
Saturday J and I went to an event at my work. We walked around with my co-workers and got drunk from samples from microbrews. Weird beers, like chocolate, and almond flavors. And I got drunk. Not sloppy, falling down, puking in the bathroom, but a nice buzz going at least. I chatted with people, was even friendly. I didn't feel like I had a cloud following me around like I usually do. For one entire night I wasn't thinking about how shitty my fertility drugs make me feel. I wasn't embarrassed to be seen by other's because of the Acne that has become rampant because of the PCOS. I was even kind of happy that I wasn't pregnant, so that I could actually participate in something, so that I could actually sort of let loose and have fun a little. J even noticed it too he kept telling me that I "looked happy" and that he hadn't seen me let go and just be me in a long time.
That is all I have thought about for the last two days. Today i was a lunch with my friend Desiree and I was telling her how I feel like J has every right to leave me, because he married me under false pretenses. He wants children and I can't give him any, he should be able to go and be with someone that can give him what he wants. She told me I was being crazy, and even I know I am being crazy. But the strange thing was, Ja and I sat on our couch tonight, me knitting on my Hug and him watching the NCAA Championship game. At the beginning of half time he turned to me and said "If we don't have kids, just think of all the great trips we can go on."  

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